


The C word

by Ad_caeruleam



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: A bit OOC I guess, A lot of bad words, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Humor, Link curses: the fic, Post-Calamity, not very romantic, rated T for bad words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25643173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ad_caeruleam/pseuds/Ad_caeruleam
Summary: She thinks he’s happier in this new world, where people don’t care about who he is and he doesn’t need to feel the weight of Hyrule’s expectations. He can be himself.And that was amazing, it was perfect…except for one little thing. It was so minuscule that she hated herself for thinking about it, but she couldn’t help it.This Link, the Link that wasn’t afraid of being himself…he had quite a questionable lexicon.And by that she means he cursed.He cursed a lot.
Relationships: Link/Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 104





	The C word

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ClaraAeri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaraAeri/gifts).



Needlessly to say, after one hundred years, she realized Link had changed.

It wasn’t a surprise; she had expected it to happen. She knew the Shrine of Resurrection would take away his memories, leaving his mind as a blank page. It was the price they had to pay, his identity in exchange for his life, he would forget his friends and family and all the important events that shaped his personality. He wouldn’t know who he is, where he came from, what was his purpose. He would forget who she was.

It hadn’t been an easy decision, no matter how strong and full of determination her voice resonated while giving the order to take him there, she simply didn’t have time to doubt, and that was the only option that gave her hope, the possibility that they would reunite again in the future, even if he didn’t remember her or what they went through together.

And now, a century and a few months later, Calamity Ganon annihilated from her land once and for all, she couldn’t be more grateful that she took that decision.

Yes, things changed, but so did her. Feeling sorry for what they lost wouldn’t bring it back, and sometimes, changes weren’t so bad.

_…Sometimes._

Link, in essence, was still the same. Even without his memories, he continued to be the same kind, reckless boy she met so long ago. He had the same affinity for danger and combat, never missing an opportunity to fight whatever monster lurked Hyrule’s empty lands, no matter how big or strong it looked. He still helped anyone in need, carrying out even the most shallow, unimportant requests people gave him. He also loved horses as much as he used to do.

She watched him cook and observed, delighted, how he even kept the same remarkable appetite he showed one hundred years ago.

However, in other aspects, he couldn’t be more disparate from his previous self.

Link smiled. Like, a lot. Whenever he wasn’t focused on completing certain tasks, he would smile absently, unprovoked, just because. He smiled at her often and not the kind of shy; dissimulate smiles that rarely broke his emotionless mask in the past, but wide grins that showed his teeth and reached his eyes. He would play a prank on her and then lift the corners of his lips to form the most charming, mischievous smirk she had ever seen. It was shocking.

He was carefree and sociable, initiating conversations with whoever crossed their path, he seemed to know every folk in Hyrule. He would walk inside any stable and start greeting everyone by their names. He even appeared to be fond of a few; especially the guy that carried an enormous bag full of merchandise on his back, his name was Beetle, if she remembers correctly.

Before she had to insist and pry out any word that came out of Link’s mouth, but she didn’t need to anymore. He talked freely about his thoughts and feelings, not worried about “letting out too much”. He was honest and straight-forward.

If she said she disliked these changes, she would be lying. If she was given the choice to bring back his old demeanor, she wouldn’t know what to do. She loved him Before, she loved her appointed knight, but she’s learning to love this new Link, as well. She thinks he’s happier in this new world, where people don’t care about who he is and he doesn’t need to feel the weight of Hyrule’s expectations. He can be himself.

And that was amazing, it was perfect…except for one little thing. It was so minuscule that she hated herself for thinking about it, but she couldn’t help it.

This Link, the Link that wasn’t afraid of being himself…he had quite a questionable lexicon.

And by that she means he cursed.

He cursed _a lot_.

She knew it sounded ridiculous to be bothered by that, but unlike him, she did remember her life before Calamity. She remembered how it was being a Princess one hundred years ago and she won’t ever forget it. She was doing her best to adapt to this new life, but it took time. In the meantime, a lot of things felt weird, and Link cursing was one of the weirdest.

She didn’t know what to do about it. If she complained, she feared she might sound like a prude, and she wasn’t a prude, it was just weird for her. As the Princess of the Kingdom, she was raised under certain…etiquette. Foul language wasn’t permitted under any circumstances, and people abstained from using a vocabulary that wasn’t formal in front of her. She learned bad words out of pure luck, because she was a curious and disobedient child that liked to eavesdrop on the guards’ conversations and then ask her teachers about whatever word she didn’t understand.

Yes, yes she was aware cursing was normal. Her guards and everyone around her cursed when they weren’t in front of her. Hell, even she cursed when she was alone and frustrated, feeling dirty afterward. But normal people didn’t curse like Link did. She could get used to the casual cursing using common bad words like fuck or shit, it would still be weird to hear Link saying them, but it was manageable.

The word that Link liked to say, however, was _not_. It was too bad.

“Wait here,” he said, his attention focused on a group of bokoblins that ran around the field a few meters away from them. They were riding horses, so Link decided to take them down while riding, too. He put away the Master Sword and grabbed a spear, more suitable for the occasion. Before charging at them, he looked back at her, and said: “I’m going to take care of those cunts.”

She could only blink, trying to ignore the heat on her face along with the embarrassment and general uneasiness.

There it was. _The C word._

It wasn’t a “casual occurrence”; he said it at least ten times a day, every day. She knew people got fixated on certain bad words, but why did he have to pick that one, out of every other bad word? It was just so vulgar; she couldn’t hear him say it without blushing aggressively. It wasn’t just the word itself, but how naturally it came out from his lips. He savored the word like pronouncing it gave him some sort of comfort or pleasure.

She was sick of it.

She told herself she just needed to get over it, but days went by and she grew even more uncomfortable. They had just started a long trip so she could get to know the new Hyrule, she wanted to see personally the state of the country, she wanted to meet and acknowledge the struggles of her people. She can’t rule a kingdom she doesn’t understand, if she decided to do it, she wasn’t even sure Hyrule needed a queen.

They were stuck together for a while, so they might as well make sure they feel comfortable around each other, right? They’ve been accomplishing it, after many awkward weeks they were starting to get close, and she didn’t want to ruin it by being a controlling prude, but she needed to be honest. Maybe he would understand and everything would be fine. Bottling it up and pretending everything is fine was a bad move, the Link from Before taught her that.

With that mind, one night, after Link loudly exclaimed that word because he burnt his finger while cooking dinner, she decided to bring it up and finally put an end to it.

She crouched next to him, her hands resting on her knees, while he sucked his damaged fingertip and used the wooden spoon to flip the rice he was cooking.

“Link,” she called, “we need to talk.”

He switched his attention from the pot to her, the flame of the fire beneath them dancing on his blue irises. “What’s wrong?”

She bit her lower lip, her mind desperately looking for the right words. “There’s something that has been bothering me, and I think it’s important that we talk about it.”

He frowned, and she could tell he was worried. “What is it?”

“Before that,” she started, locking her eyes on his and praying he would notice she was serious. “I need you to compromise to take this issue sternly. I require you to promise that you’ll be empathic and mature, considering my feelings and dignity in this manner, no matter how ridiculous it might sound to you.”

He nodded, dropping the wooden spoon next to the pot, dedicating all his attention to her. Okay, he was taking her seriously, after all. “Tell me.”  
  
She played with her fingers, distractedly. “Also you can’t laugh.”

“I won’t, I promise.” He said, sincerely. He was genuinely concernedd, which made her feel even more pathetic. She couldn’t back down now, though.

She took a deep breath, “I want you to stop saying that curse word. I think it’s remarkably vulgar, tasteless and inappropriate. It makes me uncomfortable and I think our companionship would improve greatly if you agreed to resist the urge of mentioning it when you experience the impulse of cursing. I will gladly discuss variations you could add to your-”

“Zelda” he interrupted her, confused, “what are you talking about? What word?”

She squinted her eyes “You know what word.”

“No, I don’t.” he objected with disbelief. “Please tell me what word.”

She looked away, trying to avoid his gaze. Her face was hot again. “…the C word.”

“I don’t get it.”

She lowered her head, and whispered “Cunt.”

“What?” He moved nearer to her and put a hand over her shoulder. “I can’t hear you.”

She sighed. She looked up and he was so damn close. “Cunt.” she repeated, louder.

He blinked “Cunt?”

“Yes.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, in silence. Link maintained a blank expression, but she noticed the corner of his lip twitched; one, two, three times. He let out a breath she didn’t know he was holding.

Just like that, he started laughing.

She was so embarrassed she thought she was going to die.

He laughed hard and loud, throwing his head backwards. She slapped his arm, mortified.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh!”

That didn’t stop him. He laughed so much that he ended up lying on the floor, his arms crossed over his stomach. She waited for him to stop, but he appeared to be ready to laugh for the entire night. Feeling humiliated, she stood up, ready to walk away with the little dignity she had left, but Link’s grab on her wrist stopped her from doing so.

“I’m sorry” he let out, breathless. There were tears shining at the corner of his eyes. “I didn’t mean to laugh, I am so sorry.”

She snatched her wrist from his grasp and crossed her arms, mad. “Well, are you going to stop saying it or not?”

He took a minute to whip away his tears and catch his breath. His eyes met hers again.

“I apologize for my behavior, Princess.” He said, amused. “I had no idea that word bothered you.”

“Do you even know what it means?” She spat.

He raised an eyebrow. She regretted assuming he didn’t know. Of course he knew.

“Don’t worry,” he concluded, “I’ll make sure to replace it with something less…vulgar.”

She gave him a doubtful look. _It couldn’t be so easy._

And she was right, it wasn’t so easy. Her Knight would have been mortified, but this Link? It was like she just made his night. 

It wasn’t until the next morning that she realized her mistake, when Link failed to grab a hightail lizard that he found under a rock and shouted like it was a curse word, “Vulva!”

She cracked her neck in his direction so quickly that she’s surprised it didn’t hurt. He smiled innocently at her and left to grab a tireless frog that was resting in a pond five meters away from him.

She wondered what would happen to her if she killed him right there. There were no prisons in Hyrule, or police, or kingdom. She could leave his body there and no one would find out she did it. They had no proof, only Hylia would know, and she was sure she could convince the Goddess of forgiving her for killing her Chosen One. She had her blood, after all, and they were one entity for a century.

But she had to drop that plan. She couldn’t kill Link for many reasons, it wasn’t feasible or realistic. 

Instead of that, she thought of a better plan.

As blood moons ceased to manifest, monsters stopped respawning, so Link gave himself the task of clearing the zones that were infested. After making sure he had gotten every dangerous creature that occupied the zone, he sat on a rock to rest.

Knowing that the area was safe, she went to explore by herself and came back holding a few razor shrooms she found. She walked towards him, and he was eating an apple while petting his horse’s head, the animal snorting with affection.

“You know, I realized something about these mushrooms.” She announced, catching his attention.

He looked up to her, curious. “What?” he asked, taking a bite of his apple.

Her lips curved in a smirk. “They look like big cocks!”

He choked on his apple and started coughing violently. She watched proudly how his face turned red, either from embarrassment or just lack of oxygen.

She waited for him to recover, and as soon as he could speak, he contradicted her, his voice low and rough “That’s not how they look.” 

“Oh, really?” She faked an oblivious tone. “My apologies, it’s just that I have to yet observe a real cock. I’ve only seen illustrations of cocks in anatomy books and I guess they’re not as accurate as they should be. May I ask for a more precise description of a cock? I’m very interested in cocks.”

Link’s face was expressionless, but his ears looked so red that she didn’t know if there was any blood left to circulate through the rest of his body. “Are you trying to embarrass me on purpose?”

She gasped exaggeratedly, “Goddess, Link, no. Why would I do something so cruel?”

Pause. “I guess I deserved that.” he admitted, “I learned my lesson, I won’t do it again.”

“Good.” She replied, content with the fact that her plan worked and she didn’t force herself to say those words in vain. “I’m glad we solved this issue.”

She sat down next to him, and he offered her a bite of his apple. She took it and bit down a portion of it that was still intact.

“Hey, Zelda.”

“Mmm?”

He leaned his body to her side, his mouth centimeters away from her ear.

He whispered, softly. _“Cunt.”_

If she had to pick a valuable lesson from this experience, it would be that before that day, she didn’t know she could break a tree branch in only one hit.

**Author's Note:**

> I...don't have any justification for this. I deeply apologize to anyone who read this, but man, didn't I have fun writing it?
> 
> This is the first work I write directly in English, so I'm sorry if it reads weird or some words are placed the wrong way.
> 
> Gab, this fic is for you, you're responsible for this...thing. I hope you have fun reading it, you're a great friend and I appreciate you a lot! Thank you for writing my favorite ZeLink fic of all times! 
> 
> Anyway, enough talking. Comments? Kudos?


End file.
